lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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