My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
