Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
