He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
