your thong is hanging out like whoa
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
