JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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