I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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