ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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