so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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