And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Slut skills are useful in every country.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize