Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
