Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
