North Korea, Best Korea!
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
