I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
