I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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