I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
