you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
