I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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