As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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