Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
