That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
