Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
