she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize