2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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