Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
