Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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