I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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