Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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