Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
