I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
