I want to make a zoo with you.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just want nice things and good sex
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
