So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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