then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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