so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
