i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
