dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This show inspires me to have sex in space
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
