i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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