If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
