Cold hands, warm shart.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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