I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
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