She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
