was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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