i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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