I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
