I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
