omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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