Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
