For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
