My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
