Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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