Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
