sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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