Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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