Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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