Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
