sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
