with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
