So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize