Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
