the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
