sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
