was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
