Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
