she was so not down for the gang bang
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize