I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
