i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Randomize
