it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
