She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Randomize
