If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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