This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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