based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize