I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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