Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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