Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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